«An epigram often flashes light into regions where reason shines but dimly»

«A ten-word epigram to be accurate needs a ten-page footnote, yet what it lacks in accuracy it makes up in nimbleness»

«Most of those who make collections of verse or epigram are like men eating cherries or oysters: they choose out the best at first, and end by eating all.»

«Feminine passion is to masculine as an epic is to an epigram»

«An epigram is but a feeble thing - With straw in tail, stuck there by way of sting»

«HEART, n. An automatic, muscular blood-pump. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the esat of emotions and sentiments --a very pretty fancy which, however, is nothing but a survival of a once universal belief. It is now known that the sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid. The exact process by which a beefsteak becomes a feeling --tender or not, according to the age of the animal from which it was cut; the successive stages of elaboration through which a caviar sandwich is transmuted to a quaint fancy and reappears as a pungent epigram; the marvelous functional methods of converting a hard-boiled egg into religious contrition, or a cream-puff into a sigh of sensibility --these things have been patiently ascertained by M. Pasteur, and by him expounded with convincing lucidity. (See, also, my monograph, _The Essential Identity of the Spiritual Affections and Certain Intestinal Gases Freed in Digestion_ --4to, 687 pp.) In a scientific work entitled, I believe, _Delectatio Demonorum_ (John Camden Hotton, London, 1873) this view of the sentiments receives a striking illustration; and for further light consult Professor Dam's famous treatise on _Love as a Product of Alimentary Maceration_.»

«EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom. Following are some of the more notable epigrams of the learned and ingenious Dr. Jamrach Holobom:We know better the needs of ourselves than of others. To serve oneself is economy of administration.In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.There are three sexes; males, females and girls.Beauty in women and distinction in men are alike in this: they seem to be the unthinking a kind of credibility.Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe, for you can watch both his.»

«He misses what is meant by epigram - who thinks it only frivolous flimflam»

«He would stab his best friend for the sake of writing an epigram on his tombstone.»

«I don't see how an epigram, being a bolt from the blue, with no introduction or cue, ever gets itself writ»