«I was lucky I was never bullied at school - I had a great gang of friends.»

«[Right now, on tour, Colfer is missing his wife and two kids but says it would be churlish not to appreciate the wonderful opportunities the Artemis Fowl books have presented him. At this point, he thinks he'll write two more books in the series and then he'll put Artemis to rest.] I'll be a bit sad when it happens. I've spent a lot of time in his company, but I have lots of other things I'd like to do. ... People are very supportive and it's not just a class thing - everybody, the common man can be creative and it's OK, you can be young and say, 'I'm writing a play', and people will say, 'Good on you'. Some other countries, they wouldn't take you seriously.»

«He uses it against me, too. One day he said, all those other kids have their books signed by you, so will you sign all of mine?»

«[When it comes to writing, Colfer admits to being a bit of a perfectionist. Over time, he's learned to relax a little but initially, no one read his manuscripts until he was completely satisfied with the result. These days he shows Jackie the final draft.] I'm terrible because she'll laugh and I'll say, 'Which bit?', or she won't laugh and I'll want to know why not. ... He'd cover it with his arm and say, 'Don't look! Don't Look!' and if I looked he'd get so upset and yell, 'You looked! You looked!'»

«I'm kind of in the dark. All I know is that the screenplay is finished.»

«I can invent my own creatures and give them their own powers»

«I can invent my own creatures and give them their own powers. It was great fun.»

«The only lesson I really wanted to get across,»